How To Survive A Horror Movie

I don’t mean how to survive in the audience. (In the pre-Disney years, my friend Tom Steele and I attended a midnight showing of a slasher flick in Times Square. While waiting on line, we were informed that there had been a real, live shooting in the theater. Did people run for the hills? Hell, no! They couldn’t wait for the next showing!) No, I mean how to survive if you’re a character. There are certain rules. For instance, number one: “You can never have sex,” as Jamie Kennedy’s geeky Randy helpfully informs his teenage pals in Wes Craven’s post-modern slasher “Scream.” In actual fact, there appear to be quite a few rules by which one must abide in most Hollywood films – not just the horror genre – but poor Randy (slain in the second instalment) unfortunately isn’t around to point them out in the latest slice of teen slashing, “Scream 4,” out this week.

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