by Jim David
Plugged In Online is the movie reviewing arm of Focus On The Family, a Christian conservative organization. Plugged In’s reviews can be entertaining, as if written by a committee of nuns criticizing the behavior of unruly eighth graders. The critics review the films not for their actual merit but for their moral worth, cataloging instances of sexual content (“Three scenes of passionate kissing, one scene of a man’s hands inside a woman’s blouse, one scene of cunnilingus leading to the woman’s singing Gershwin”), profanities (“17 uses of the F-word, 38 terms for excrement), violence, and other “objectionable content.” The reviews usually end with a summation of the debauchery of the films, actors and directors, and whether or not the work has any redeeming social value. Their reviews of Brokeback Mountain and The Kids Are All Right were especially fun, since the critics twisted themselves into pretzels saying, “This is a great movie, but… but… they’re gay!”
If audiences only chose entertainment based on Plugged In’s reviews over the last couple of years, they would have gone to see The Blind Side and a couple of Pixar movies, with the advisory that cars don’t actually talk, since that would be witchcraft.
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