John Simon — yes, THAT John Simon — has written a charming tribute to the performer Kaye Ballard. The occasion is Miss Ballard’s 2006 memoir, “How I Lost 10 Pounds in 53 Years.” If you do know who she is, you’ll be interested in the essay. If you don’t know who she is, you SHOULD be interested in the essay. Un-simple Simon says: ‘We have here a feisty but sympathetic woman, smart and versatile, not a conventional beauty but of strikingly characterful aspect, not readily forgettable.’ Simon goes on to talk about the 1954 musical “The Golden Apple,” which he considers a classic and which I, shamefully, barely know. I do know one song from the show, “Lazy Afternoon,” which Kaye sings above. For an alternate “reading,” listen here to Pat Suzuki.