Ryan Lochte: Is He Just Wild About Harry?

No, that’s not what I’m asking. Although I’ve gotten quite a few emails this month wondering: Is Ryan Lochte gay? How the hell should I know? As Talullah would say: He never sucked my cock. But the Olympic swimmer does seem to want to suck Prince Harry’s cock, at least figuratively. Even with all the hoopla about Harry’s Las Vegas laddishness with Ryan, the swimmer is still hoping that he can stoke their true bromance. He wants to challenge him in a motocross race, and team up together for commercial endorsements. As a wise Royals watcher put it to me the other day, “If Prince Harry wants to be a flat-out celebrity, then he should renounce his place in the succession and become a semi-private citizen. And live life out of the public eye, like Princess Margaret’s kids.” But if he wants to be a 21st-century celebrity, the last thing he wants is no spotlight. And now that there appears to be a video of Harry’s romp in Vegas, he has the very thing essential to being a 21st-century celebrity in our trashy culture: a sex tape.

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